With or without yaya...

wow! three months had already passed since the "yaya" left us. and what good or bad things did i experience of being "yaya-less" now? well, a lot... first, the good things... i learn to keep track of the kids activities 24/7. when i had my eldest, i was not able to see some of the things she did while growing up. i was still working then in a goverment office that takes so much of my time. when i leave, she's still asleep and when i'm home, she's already sleeping. our bonding moments are done on weekends only. so, it was the yaya who took care of her 5days a week. it was really hard for me to see her in the hands of a yaya coz i know that she needs my time & attention. but when i was pregnant for the second daughter, i decided to quit my job since we don't want to take risk in my pregnancy... it was only then that i get to experience what motherhood is all about...

i was on my 2nd post-pregnancy month when the yaya left us to elope with her boyfriend. i was so mad since i'm still in pain from the CS operation that i had. my mother can't be with me since she's too weak from her diabetes complications and my mother-in-law was in the states during that time. my husband & my younger sister had to be at work so it's only me to take care of the kids. it was just unfortunate that we can't find an immediate replacement for the yaya... i had to be up early to attend to my eldest daughter, who was 5yrs old & in kinder level that time. and i also had to feed, bath, take my 2month old baby to sleep. cook, do the laundry, iron, etc. while i was still recuperating from pain... well, it takes all my will & effort to bear the "hardships." i somehow managed to do all the things that i didn't do before on my own. rest for me was when hubby & sis arrives & weekends was a breather for me... but i survived!!! and during those periods, it gave me an afterthought that i can be a super-mom and a wife, all rolled into one, without someone to depend on.....

and it happened again, the yaya left us to go home for her dying mother. but this time, i didn't panic. i take the responsibility with no regrets. my 2 kids(the eldest now, 8 & the youngest is 3) are well taken care of and secured with their needs because i'm with them in every step of their way. it made us much closer than before as the communication lines are more open and our bonding moments are when we do things at home as a shared responsibility. the budget for the yaya's salary is spent on eating at restaurants that we haven't tried before. besides, i also get to know every details of my kids personality & actions now that i'm with them always. and the kids learn also to be independent in some ways...

and for the bad things... no more time for going out with friends, no dates for only me & my hubby, can't go to the mall without the kids to tag along, shorter malling period, can't go to the gym anytime i want to, can't rest alone... but after thinking of all the pros & cons of being "yaya-less," i don't think i would get a new yaya anymore. my life is already fulfilled now that i play the role of a full-time mom & wife. it's just a matter of self-adjustment & time management to do the part. this is a new career that for me, has lots of benefits & rewards... well, maybe a stay-out maid if the need arises but for now, i enjoy living the kind of life that i have at present...